There are a handful of substacks I follow, and I feel a sense of guilt every time I get an email with a new post. When I first started writing, it was a way to process things, think out loud, and check in with myself. Moments in life get so busy that you deprioritize and forget, but I’m glad I’m writing this.
In your early 20s, all you think about is advancing your career and earning money, in your 30s you look back and wonder why you stressed over it for so long.
This concept seems to be a recurring advice I hear from many folks from various walks of life. I think I spent a good year thinking of the type of life I want to live - valuing family, friends and relationships, staying active and healthy, exploring hobbies and interests, making more things with my hands, building communities, learning more about people, and the list goes on… As I contemplated this, the other half of life hits you and demands dollars. Despite what I believed to have an amazing background of skillsets and experience, the market thought otherwise. It wasn’t until a mentor of mine hired me that I felt some relief. The residual concerns pushed me to strive further into bigger roles and long story short - I’m back in startups.
Back in 2020, I had the opportunity to participate in a fellowship in Boulder, CO. The pandemic felt like it was yesterday, but that was 4 years ago when the border between the US & Canada was going to announce whether they were going to close. After a conference in Toronto, I made a last minute dash back home to Vancouver, and all my belongings back in Colorado were shipped back the following months. Last week, I got a chance to visit again.
Founders, builders, artists, we are no different
Bob has to be probably in his late 60s. As we caught up over coffee, one of my last few questions I asked was how he was able to maintain himself and his family, meanwhile pursuing ambitious goals with often times little to no rewards such as standardizing environmental metrics across environmental organizations and government. He reminded me of a bartender pursuing a comedy career and a barista who dreams of becoming an actress. That bartender always introduces himself as a comedian and the barista describes herself as an actress. Sometimes in life we have to keep the lights on until our next big role or the next big Netflix special. I’m coming to realize pursuing your purpose or your goal is starting to become less about what you want and more about wanting less. Staying lean, becoming a cockroach, not always staying on top of trends. There are more moments in life when I’m realizing that I too have gained some years over my belt and the wrinkles in the smile of my grandparents when they see me are a symbol of that.
Life is one big party when you're still young
But who's gonna have your back when it's all done
It's all good when you're little, you have pure fun
Can't be a fool, son, what about the long run?
It must have been one of the parties when I heard Angel by Shaggy when it suddenly hit me that the time I spent with the boys was only during parties. The concept of intimacy amongst male friendships is something I’ve been thinking a lot about since. Fascinating yet so foreign. You can rely on social lubricants to open up and talk about life, but the cost of eight drinks seems quite unsustainable. Having friends cry in my arms, open up about their relationships, listening to their deepest fears and the skeletons in their closet were moments I would have never imagined only a few years ago. With good strong intentions and vulnerability, something I had little to no experience in, I think we’ve come a long way. A friend reminds me it’s why he’s able to have better relationships.
AI
Everyone is talking about AI and the development in this space is rapidly changing. It’s becoming more and more like the space race between the Americans and the Soviets, except instead of the Soviets, it’s with the Chinese. The American government hasn’t put a strong narrative for AI, but I suspect as many TikTok users transferred over to Red Note (Chinese TikTok), the general sentiment with China is quite positive. The American government has undone years of “criticism” of China in a matter of few months. With the release of Deekseek and Manus it seems like Chinese LLMs are getting a moment in the spotlight on public forums. I believe the country that fully harnesses the power of AI will be setting the stage in the next world order. While I don’t believe in wars and I would like to visit China and Russia (hence why I stay away from defense tech), it’s clear supporting this sector has the highest potential outcomes. There will be a few winners and many losers but the outcomes will outweigh its costs… even if it’s billions if not trillions of funding down the drain.
I’m secretly escaped to San Francisco for a conference - having met so many Canadians I can’t help but wonder how the landscape would shift if we poached back our talent. This is a long-winded way of sharing that this is the space that I’m working on next while avoiding politics. As long as AI companies will exist in the future, they will need infra…
Anyways…
market volatility is when bank is made
gambling is bad
defense tech is hard copium
sf is a beautiful city with unfortunate circumstances
opportunities are often right under your nose
much of life is merely narratives
find your calling
religion is making a comeback
grow the pie but it’s still a pie at the end of the day
any task can be challenging if you make it to be
founder mode
gang